Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
