dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
