Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
