Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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