it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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