I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
