Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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