He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Bring me that man meat
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