can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
