ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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