so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
