the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
