theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
