she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
