I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im about as happy as oj after his trial
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
