I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
