Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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