I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
