Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
