I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
