We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
