His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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