you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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