We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
