whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
