Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
