well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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