We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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