I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
