I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
