At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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