You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
