if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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