at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
