FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
