He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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