So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
