I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
