fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
