We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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