Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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