if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
