whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
