so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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