that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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