Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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