Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
