i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
