I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
