Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
