Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
