I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
